Long Live the Leader

by Colleen Rouse

We focus intently on the efficacy of our lead­ership, but how much forward thinking is given to the longevity of our leadership? This is usually brought to our attention when we find ourselves dealing with burnout. The topic of burnout is being widely discussed in many circles today. Long before society addressed this issue, the Bible offered insight that surpasses the wisdom anyone else has to offer.

The Message version of Matthew 11:28-30 speaks of this. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

In the early days of ministry, I was all about the daily hustle. It fueled me—or so I thought—and thus my foot was always on the gas pedal. It became unsustainable. Thank­fully, I was able to correct my trajectory and enjoy viability as a leader and I want to share those lessons with you. This is not another article about life balance, as important at that topic is. I want to focus on something foundational to the health and stability of your inner life. This is the part that sometimes gets overlooked because we depend way too much on our ability to plow through adversity. Yes, we are inherently resilient, but are you truly thriving at this very moment? How sustainable is the pace that you are currently on? Thriving begins with understanding the true essence of rhythms of grace. Gaining this insight has been a gamechanger, allowing me to thrive as a leader for over 35 years. But then again, I wasn’t always thriving.

At the age of 42, I noticed a decline in my energy level. This puzzled me because I had always been mindful of eating clean and going strong. In addition, my optimism was fading and I felt a sense of depression trying to creep into my life. I realized that this was both a spiritual battle and a physical battle so I went in for testing. The diagnosis was adrenal insufficiency, otherwise known as adrenal fatigue. The remedy did not come in the form of a pill but required a shift of perspective. The Lord began dealing with me regarding my driven behavior. I needed to learn to conserve my heart energy and how to maintain a state of rest.

From Being Driven to Being Led

During my time of struggle, he said to me “Your driven behavior is your religion and it’s causing you to burn out.” He connected the dots for me in John 15:15 (NKJV): “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” Here he is distinguishing two different mindsets. Servants = religion and friends = relationship. I do want to point out that it is a good thing to have a servant’s heart, but it is another thing to have a servant’s mentality. Each day of our lives, the mindset we have plays out in the way we work. Which one sounds more like you?

An individual with a servant mentality derives their sense of acceptance and value mainly from accom­plishments and thus leans toward a performance-driven behavior. They fail to comprehend “what the Master is doing,” meaning they do not know the heart of the Father. How can one set healthy goals and a sustainable pace of life unless they discern the heartbeat of the Father? In my life it created confusion over what was his responsi­bility and what was mine, and it propelled me into a “try harder, give up” cycle. How many leaders have fallen into the same trap I did, feeling burned out by the system of doing life and weary from weight of responsibilities we think are ours to carry?

Can I be honest? People who crack under the pressure of leadership oftentimes are those who feel obligated to be the hero and carry the weight of other people’s problems as if they have something to prove. This is a core issue to face if we want to discern the rhythms of his grace in our lives as leaders. We have to be willing to ask ourselves what motivates us, and if it squares up with his heart motivation. Are you the one who continually shows up early and stays late, picking up the uncompleted tasks of your team? Leaders who are task-motivated tend to create cultures that are both unsustainable and unpleasant. Therefore, we must look in the mirror as well as the rear-view mirror to see what effect we are having on those we lead. At that time in our ministry, I joked about the g-forces in our face, riding on the nose of a bullet with our pace of life! As the realization for change became apparent, we adopted mea­sures to create a more viable culture for our staff. We still practice one of those things today. Each year the leadership team asks the all-important question, “If we could close the doors and start all over again, what would we stop, what would we change?” This perspective allows us to assess things in a completely different light and has led to some amazing discussions and very healthy decisions. What are the things that you are doing right now as a leader that have little ROI when it comes to your heart energy?

Here is what I know to be true with great certainty: Leaders who are task-motivated tend to prioritize the work over the relationship. I can recall a story John Max­well shared about witnessing the actions of one of his leaders on a particular day. He watched this individual walk through the crowd of employees heading directly to his office. As he opened the office door and sat at his desk John entered behind him and asked, “What are you doing?” To which the man replied, “I’m doing my work.” John responded while waving his hand in the direction of the group outside the door, “No, you just walked past your work.” The first time I heard this account it struck me deeply. I am a people person to the core, but I too have been confused about who is my priority of focus. This is what can happen when there is too much on our plate. We are all in the people business. When we prioritize our relationship with God first, we come to know his heart and have clarity on what his expectations are for our daily lives. It is there that we move into friendship with him. We find our place of importance with him, and from there he reveals the value of those we are to serve who are around us.

I learned to shift my focus to developing the friendship he was bestowing on me rather than trying to earn approval. Friends do not place unrealistic demands on your life, nor do they promote a sense of perfor­mance equals value. I had to consciously choose to be governed, led by his Spirit, not driven by demands. I discovered that living freely and lightly meant living out of reach of the hard task-masker of the reli­gion. When it came to prioritizing my cal­endar and concerning my heart energy, he simplified this for me by saying, “You are to be most responsive to those you are most responsible for.” Basically, this is the Perato principle, which states we should give 80% of our focus to the top 20% of our team. It moves us into proactivity because he will reveal what is to come to us in very practical terms. I learned to develop a more intuitive style of leadership. This meant that if I had a sense about one of our leaders, I would initiate a conversation which led to many great moments strengthening the relationships I had with them. He taught me how to bring correction in ways that offered hope. I began to understand what he meant by taking on his yoke. He had the ultimate responsibility to govern his people, I have the responsibility to follow his lead. I learned that I was called to transfer the weight of others to him in prayer and not to carry the weight. In the process, I began to esteem the value my own time as a leader. When we become clear on what he expects from us, we are less likely to be consumed with living up to expectations of others.

While the servant is driven by a sense of obligation, the friend is led by a sense of devotion. I cannot express how valuable it is for us to factor how much the love of the Father for us must influence out daily work lives.

From Obtaining to Containing

You have great potential, great capacity. Capacity, like rhythm, is a measurement. We often think of it in terms of what we can do, the capacity to accomplish. Oftentimes, we confuse capacity with capability. The definition of capacity is, in its truest sense, our ability to contain. It is more about our ability to receive than it is to produce. What enables us to produce much is the ability to contain much. No doubt, as a leader you understand the importance of having a growth mindset. Those who do also under­stand the importance of input from others in helping us develop these gifts we have received. Who better to sharpen us and direct us than our helper, the Holy Spirit?

This is why the focus on our rela­tionship with him is key to flowing in rhythm with him. The more we pursue letting him do a work in us, the greater a work he can do through us. It’s less about what we can accomplish and more about what we can accommodate. In other words, perhaps the best way to increase productivity is to increase receptivity. I am all about working hard and it takes grit to lead well, but grit and grind are not the same. Sometimes he wants to grant it to us rather than us having to grind it out.

Perfect example: my friend, Sarah, who is the COO of a software company, was working with her team to prepare for a board meeting. They had obtained a large investment in one area of the business guaranteeing measurable improvements by the end of the year. For some reason, the data was not measuring the improvement as it should have, thus making the value of the investment to be lacking. For weeks the team sought for the solution to demonstrate the true worth of their investment but to no avail. Just a few days before the presentation, yet another frustrating meeting was running long. As she looked at the time, she noticed that it was nearing the hour for her regularly scheduled massage. (Did I tell you that my friend is bril­liant on many levels?) Her first thought was to cancel the appointment and continue to grind out the analysis to find the answers they needed. Fortunately, she did not go with the first thought but went instead to the massage therapist, feeling prompted to do so. She closed her eyes and began to unwind and enjoy the moment. In the last 10 minutes of the session, she suddenly saw something right there in front of her: the spreadsheets, and the specific data adjustment that they needed to look at to show the improvements that they knew were there demonstrating the value of the client’s investment! It’s amazing what we can see when we take a moment to close our eyes and receive what he desires to give. While we would not expect this to happen every time, perhaps it is time for us to explore what it is like to live by grace rather than under the grind. How often has it occurred to you to pray for the solution and allow him to grant it to you?

Do we truly realize what we have in our relationship with him? We must consider who we have direct access to and the power he has to effect change in our lives. He is very much accessible; he is just not always obviously identifiable. This is why we must learn to discern his voice, his guidance and his grace. He leads us with grace. The essence of learning to flow with the rhythms of grace is understanding that one must process things with our heart where the Spirit of God speaks before processing with the intellect. It is cultivating an interdependence versus inde­pendence. It changes even the way we set our goals.

Grace-Directed Goals

1. Goal awareness. This helps us to curb any unhealthy ambitious tendencies. Our society applauds ambition, while his kingdom promotes humility. It is one thing to set goals, but another thing to submit our goals and dis­cern those which are truly Spirit-directed. Those who operate independently make assumptions. Those who operate interdependently make inquiries and move according to the evidence of his grace.
2. Goal alignment. This is the ability to identify his cadence and get in step with his timing. It helps to curb our anxiousness for results and directs us when we should exercise self-restraint. After all, he is the one leading this dance and we don’t need to be stepping on his toes. Get a visual of a couple struggling over who is leading the waltz. What is designed to be graceful and beautiful, is awkward and painful. One person sets the pace, the other is to follow. What we learn from this is contentment, trusting that all that needs to be accom­plished with be accomplished in his timing. The need for achievement is replaced with a sense of fulfillment, the quiet strength of inner confidence. This was the yoke of ease of which he speaks in the earlier passage.

 Rhythm is the fundamental beat or pulse that propels the music forward, it manages the flow of time. It’s true both in the theory of music and the theory of life. His grace is customized as is his direction. Don’t assume that you are to be spending your time the way others do. Step out of the rat race and learn to move in step with the rhythms of grace.